HEART OF YES

Paris on monday 23 of November

2009-11-21T07:33:00.000-08:00

I haven't written a word since I came to Tunisia. Perhaps it's just a sign of the mentality of this place... probably not. I have a lot to tell and since this is long term travelling I don't think that it hurts to take some time melting experiences. I will write more soon. Tonight I will finally get the network card for my computer working. I have not really been motivated to get everything out here in the virtual.

There are quite alot of anecdotes and pictures to come...

For anyone who wanders what's happened in large, and hasn't read my facebook... this is a very short summary.

In Italy I had the sudden inclination to get to Africa. I felt a bit tired and lost not speaking Italian. I figured it would be mentally good to get out of this old continent. Tunisia is close. And I happen to have a distant "relative" there, so I thought it would be interesting to check it out.

I think it was a good decision. I have seen a strange world of traditional elements blending with capitalist society in an absurd mix. The contrasts are so strong. This is paradoxically a country of concrete operational thinking and a very down to earth, and smooky caféish frozen conditions. Bodily grounded with great emotional intensity and still at the same time; held back by old restrictions and collective herd-morality. There is a dense humour in this inner conflict... something that I don't think Europeans in general can imagine. Perhaps the Tunisians are resting, and waiting for better days, searching for relief from centrurys of cultural-political tumult. (Roman, Turk, Spanish and French colonisation etc)

I think it's been a healthy break from my mind and thinking, my abstract philosophy-loving personality. Here there is no tomorrow... litterally... and money is on everyones mind, except the ones who've found peace, looking back thru the muslim lense seeing a world of familyties and trusted values fall apart...

I have seen this beautiful and dirty place for a month... I have had the opportunity of finding some new friends and get to know there problems and hopes. I have felt like a stranger and learned to fend off people who see me as a walking ticket to Europe. And the last few weeks I've started to learn french... still very fragile, but I can make some sentences...

But now I long for playing music again... and going back to places I recognise and can relate to... and to places where freedom of mind is in higher regard. I go to Paris on monday night to couchsurf and sing on the streets... probable spend Christmas and learn french...

I'm thirsty for artistic collaboration and meeting people... inviting philosophy into my life again.

Have any suggestions for Paris?

Wish me Bon Chance!

I will write more in detail about the trip later on... who knows when that is... ! ;)

2009-10-14T05:11:00.000-07:00

Wind power Denmark

2009-10-14T05:00:00.000-07:00

Beautiful... sounds a bit but it's ok.. I slept in the pasture not far from these one night...

Germany to Italy

2009-10-14T04:50:00.000-07:00

Hamburg

I felt releaved to finally get away from Flensburg and my mind started spinning on the subject of getting to places faster. (a trick of the mind I guess... the tendency to think that something is even better further away) Rainy weather is beautiful but boring and not so practical when you want to play music outside.

So I started sorting my options. Learning language is a much greater aim now than it was for me when I started this trip. Even if people speak english sometimes it's not nearly as good as people from Sweden speak english. I want to learn German, Spanish and French... it's basiv languages that help in many places round the earth. It's not necessary for becoming a piano-bar entertainer, but it's sure useful.

After waiting for a Eurolines bus to arrive in the not so cheer hopes of the busdriver being glad about taking my box on a bus, I went to an internet café to try to compare prices fro flights, trains or just about anything. I even got so far as deciding to take a cheap flight to Barcelona. But when i tried to register online something went wrong... and Ryan Air lost a customer.

I actually took a train to the airport and back again before I decided around about midnight to buy the cheapest form of Interrail-card... to get south by train for five days. It wasn't that good a deal. I spent much of the of the night speaking with a couple of girls in the 24 hours opened McDonalds at the trainstation, writing a song in the morning to the rythm of Hamburg waking up.

In the morning I bought my railpass and started by getting on to Frankfurt... when I came there it was like a maze... I found myself out somehow and walked away to a secluded area in some woods for some rest and food preparation, and even a chance to clean my box. I didnt feel like staying in this area so I went back to the station to continue travelling... to my surprise I'm stopped by a Security guard (once again) who wants to know whats in my box. Then he also tells me that I can't go by train with it.

Now Thats a sticky situation... I had already begun using my interrail-card, and at the information they first tell me it's no problem, then they say that the box actually is too big (wich wasnt mentioned when I bought the card in Hamburg) I ask how to get the money back and they say I have to get back to Hamburg where I purchased the card. When I say that they can fax a copy and fix it they suddenly say that its not possible to get any money back since Ive already started using it. Their final advice is for me to keep trying to travel on the sly. Try to get the box on the trains anyway. Interesting advice.

So now I was a paying customer who had to be lucky at each stop on the way south. I had payed but I felt like I had to make excuses for myself all the time. At first I intended to go to eastern Europe for a day just to see some of it, but I was getting so sick and tired of this box issue that I decided to try to get south as fast as possible instead. I travelled constantly for a day... first I reached Munchen where I found myself in the middle of the yearly Beerfestival... Oktoberfest.

Munchen

This was a great night. I sang all night with wonderful crazy german people coming from everywhere in their leadherpants (läderhosen or however you spell it) For the first time on my trip I didn't feel that I looked strange to anyone.... Seems like everyone was just amazingly dressed and in a good mood to speak english. I had so many beerbottles on my box that night (not originally mine) that I started looking like a walking bar.

At first I let a crazy guitarist borrow my guitar for a while, but he was so drunk that I had to take it after a while. When many hours had past I had a fine little gathering around me singing along... made a little money but mostly played for the sake of partying the night away.

Finally I wanted to walk away, but one of the german gentlemen stopped me... He didn't believe that the box was mine. "this is his home; you can't take it away from him!"... He thought that the very drunk man who borrowed my guitar was the actual owner of my box. To prove it was mine I had to show him my tattoo on my left shoulder. The same heart as the heart on the box. He didn't seem to believe it at first but then he realized I was telling the truth.

I told him about my whole crazy travelling idea and my plans to go to Italy and Greece and play piano in bars... then I was stuck singing for the last hours of the night... In the morning I took a train to Italy... Very tired....

I was so happy to see the big mountain sides rising around me and to get from cold germany to warm Italy.

Denmark to Germany

2009-10-14T04:32:00.000-07:00

Gothenburg to Fredrikshavn

(diary from some time looking back)

Friday I was supposed to leave. Since I booked a ferry ticket for a car or bicycle, (my mistake of comparing my carriage to a bike) I had to rebook and leave early saturday. That gave me the opportunity to stay and have tea with my new/old friend Johanna. I had a great night talking about my plans and my philosophy. Yeah I think I talked too much about myself, but she's guilty of encouraging me.
Saturday morning felt great despite being tired. It's good to leave sweden. I spent the morning on the phone with friends and family, taking the time to talk while I was still in the local phone zone. The rest of the boat journey I spent contemplating the absurdity of slot machines. Who came up with the idea of turning boat-rides inte to floating casinos. I watched happy disabled people wasting their coins, and children screaming of joy when a few dimes came back out of the "one armed bandits", once in a while. Then i pulled out my earplugg's and tried to rest in the midst of crazy moneyspenders.

Finally in Denmark I ate a little and started singing in a public area. It was a fine spot, good acustics and just pedestrian streets, and some drunken swedes came by several times dropping a lot of money. All I had to do to make them happy was to sing a simple version of Knocking on heavens door. Unfortunetely the stores closed early and I got to talking with a dissapointed woman from Iran who was equally confused as I was concerning the stores. She had come to shop.

Before I stopped singing I had the fortune of meeting a Norweigian couple out on an everyday adventure. They were transporting goods and invited me to come along. Fredrikshavn to Padburg in one day. (all of Denmark) So I first started thinking for a second, then I stopped, and then I said Yes... not that I have to say yes to anything. It wasn't part of my plans, but I did say to myself before that if I'd get offered a significant ride (that could take me to warmer weather even faster...) then I would take it.

I walked to the beach, started writing a song, ate and watched the view. Then I fell asleep for an hour and woke up feeling a bit ill. I decided to find a place to rest out the day. Not far from where I was there was a nature area, dry wild land with a little pasture... I found a hidden place not far from the sea and put up my shelter. Then I slept for 14 hours, and I woke up feeling much better. I got my stuff together, went to town to meet up with Ivar and kristine. We decided to meet at the port three a clock. Then I had a pizza at a mexican restaurant, and sang a little for the owner who wished me luck on my journey.

There was a rock concert in town so I could'nt sing in the same place as last day. So I just sat down in another area singing just for fun. Then a nice guy named Eric came up and struck up a conversation. I sang some blues for him and then he wanted to buy me a pizza, I thanked him a lot but had to mention I'd already just had one. So he gave me some money for the road.
Eric told me about his own travels and the kindness that he'd met on the road. He also talked about the global economy, the internet and how everything is based on advertising these days. Every single human need is to be exploited to gain something. I fully understand his point of view. I think commercialism drains something from culture. But it's a strange paradox to me. Money is a means and as such it is good, but the monetary system is rent based and as such it's like a cancer.

It was a long day touring with Kristine and Ivar. They're the kind of people who are still passionate about doing new things, not letting children and professional life limit their destiny. We spoke constantly for four hours, except the time I was singing. Kristine told me about her cousine who is a famous musical artist in Norway... and how her whole family always had music to celebrate and spend time together. Sounds terrific.

They left me off at the end of their trip... southern Denmark... and I found a place to sleep for the night. Monday morning I started reading a few german phrases. I walked across the border and in to Harrisburg. After eating a little and waiting for the afternoon openings I went to the local library reading a little german and trying to learn some. I also wrote this.
　
Flensburg

When it finally ceased raining I found my way to Flensburg. It was getting late and I thought it would be a brilliant idea to take a train and sleep a few hours just to get further. When I reached the central station I was extremely tired. It was getting late, the reception was closed and there where only stairs up to the trains... my box is not that easy to get up like that. ;)

Just to make the night even more challenging one of my wheels suddenly started singing. The air was running out. I had received "ein punktíerung" or whatever the call it. This was not so alarming at first, since I had a super-fix-spray that would both fix it and pump the rubber. Now, this was the first time for me using this kind of equipment. I soon realized that my attempt to fix it was in vain. I sat down feeling a bit stuck and lost. Tired and frustrated, yes... and I started thinking that this is exactly the kind of situation I'm gonna learn the most from.

I thought my luck had returned when a nice Italian backpacker with a bike came out of nowhere. I asked him for some simple old time bike aid. He was in a hurry but had just enough time to give me what I needed. Or so I thought. After a while I realized that I couldn't fix it anyhow. I needed more tools. By now I was so exhausted that I just took a time out, sat down and ate abit instead. The time was passing midnight and I thought to myself that I might as well stay inside the station (since it was opened all night) and then try to get on just any train in the morning. Happy about making a decision a could finally relax.

I'd just been sitting there for a few minutes, when two police officers (or rather security guards) was coming by asking me where I was going. One of the men where bald, tall and just the type you don't want to have an argument. I wasn't in the mood to be charming, but I knew from all I've learned from psychology that I had to differentiate myself from any avarage bum or just plainly play stupid. I told him that I was supposed to take a train in the morning and that I didn't understand the ticket-machines that were available, since my german is limited and also rusty. I guess that was too vague an answer to him.

He had a really serious look and talked to me like I was the scum of the earth, and I fully understood that I had to reframe the situation and change his mood. I started talking joyfully about my plans for travelling.... when he wanted to investigate my box I gladly opened it and took out my guitar and offered to sing a bit... He didn't want that, but seemed a bit more at ease. I also showed him my problem, but he didn't seem to want to be of any help. He continued: - "You know you can't live here every night!" I reassured him that it was not my intention to live there. (I was thinking to myself that If I would be homeless this was the last place in the world to live. It was noisy, instant calls about incoming trains and a really shitty feeling. Who would want to be homeless here?)

Then he told me that I would not be able to take my box on a train. (too big) I asked the police about where to find buses out of town. (I actually already knew... this was just to make the police feeling more like a "helper of the decent weak" instead of "fighter of societys parasites") He finally told me that I could stay the night, but that I had to leave first thing in the morning. That was a deal I thought and shook his hand with a big kiss ass smile.

When he walked away I felt like I'd met this police before... probably ten years ago in this same station... I wonder if he subconciously remembered me and thought that I'd been living there for ten years.... ;) The irony of it all is that HE WAS, he was in some way living there for all those years... what a job, what a destiny... to keep people from taking care of their basic human needs... that is a job to be honoured. ;) The opposite of a social worker.

The night wasn't that good... I slept with a fleece blanket for a few hours. But it was a very special atmosphere lying there watching the roof. I felt like I was cought in a time bubble from the cold war... when people stopped coming in and out it was silent for a few moments... I started playing my guitar and the trainstation echoed like a church. Some taxi drivers and cleaning workers came by and complimented my singing. At last I felt at least a tiny bit at home... and the next day was coming on.
　
---------------------------------
I bought new, and better wheels to my carriage and spent the whole day in Flensburg. With a little help from some nice guys in a bicycle store I fixed the trolley and found my way to sing a bit. It was a sunny day, I got lots of coins and even some chocolate from an old lady. And then I also met this mysterious old traveller with his dog. He was really friendly and told me about his walking around Europe for many years as a juggler.

I wanted to take the Eurolines bus somewhere, but It didn't come... the timetables where like a crossword. The night came fast and I stayed in a hostel for the first time... (when I came there I saw that I'd been there before also... it's a funny feeling... like I'm walking in my own footsteps. Visiting my old self.

The next day I walked to the trainstation again, accompanied by my new friends. I thought it would be a good place to ask for advice. At daytime it was more positive. The information was opened and I was told that taking a train should be ok.

(don't always trust the police because they often play it by THE RULES, when people in general play BY HEART)

Sousse and my lost bag

2009-10-12T08:10:00.000-07:00

There is a story to be told waiting on my computer. So many small incidents and occasions; feels more like a year than a month.

So instead I will tell the story of today.

I am writing this on a computer in Kalla Sghrira. It is a small village close to Sousse in Tunisia. Yesterday I got stuck in town with my travellingbox. Noone wanted to take me onboard. Too big the box. I met Achmed, a nice young english speaking student at the bus station. He was friendly in a non threatening way, the way that you can sense subconciously that he didnt want to get money or anything. So I agreed to let him help me. His brother had a car so he would be able to drive me home to Ernas place in Hergla. (Erna is sister to my cousins father and has been living in Tunisia for 30 years)

I was served food and treated like a brother by this family of 2 parents, 5 brothers and a sister. When it was getting darker I got a ride home to Ernas . (I had never been there before and was stunned by the beautiful house by the sea... it looked like a fairitale to me) Its almost surreal to come to a place that looks this good after my experiences in Tunis the last week.

Just when I thought everything was good and done for the night, I came to the realization that Id left my bag in the car of the friendly neighbour of the family who drove me home. Nothing to worry about I said, but then I also remembered that all of my contact information was in that bag. I went to bed knowing that I had to be a detective to get back to that place.

I woke up today and washed my clothes took a bath and then off to Sousse.

I had a few clues:

the family was producing honey. (they gave me some and it was really good)
the father was a good chef in a hotel restaurant. (he made food for me to eat, delicious classic Tunisian)
the son Achmed, that I met in the bus station, was a student of litterature history.
the other brother played guitar in a rock band.
And the town was called "the little" so,ething because there was to towns with the same name.

At first I tried reaching the school in Sousse but I had no luck.
After wandering around for a few hours I took a taxi "Loage" to Kalaa Sghrira, wich was the name of the town. (as far as Erna could guess)

I asked the taxidriver if i knew and he started helping me asking around, yelling for people on the street about my clues. ;D It was interesting to see him at work. Thats effective research I thought.

Finally it actually turns out that the taxidriver is a friend of the family. When we get there I feel like Ive been taken on a ride on a search engine. So now, maintenant, here I am. I was given food and a place to rest. Soon I will go back to Hergla , but first Achmed has to come home and show us where the bag is. I will not forget the kindness of this family.

This was another strange day...

I wont forget my bag like this again, especially when I have my most essential digital information storage in it. (500 GB of precious information that I need for my adventures)

Thats all folks... ;D

Nights in Tunisia is the song to learn now I think...

And fast forward to Tunisia! ;)

2009-10-04T11:55:00.000-07:00

I wish I would have updated this blog more. As it turns out my networkcard of my computer is broken. Quite alot have happened the last few days, and Ive also changed my plans dramatically. Tomorrow I will be on the ferry from Salerno (in Italy) to Tunis. (Capital of Tunisia) If I like it I will stay for a few months. My plan is to learn french, record songs and stay cheap in weather that suits a scandinavian. ;)

I will tell the story about coming here later on when I get more time. I think this will be a good start to get ready for the next year, playing in pianobars and such things. So I will go on walking later on. Perhaps the experience of dwelling for some time in a region will be even more interesting.

Take care and expect some writing on the blog within the coming week... and pictures of course...

Jesper and Erika - old friends... sat on a parkbench like bookends

2009-09-25T03:10:00.000-07:00

This is Jesper my good old friend, studying to be a nurse and practicing buddhism. I've spent some days now in Örgryte, resting and eating lots of healthy good food. This is Erika, the ruler of the household, and a reflective personality studying nordic architecture and restoration. She also enjoys loosing against me playing cards. ;) Of Course Erika also knows how to take good care of a crazy baby. Jesper knows he's found a real quality woman to hold on to. Yes he does... yeees he does.... ;)
Thanks for humour and hospitality!! :)

"... a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord..."

2009-09-25T01:00:00.000-07:00

I wish I'd had my camera with me yesterday while singing close to Järntorget in Gothenburg. It's not always easy to comprehend what falls down right in front of you from the sky. Coming up to me on the street is an easygoing english fellow with a smile upon his face. He likes my music, and it's a great feeling to get some appreciation when it's cold and windy in this place.

So I play him another song and then we get to talking. He's very talkative and straightforward and it so turns out that he's a person with connections in the music industry, and he's also a songwriter ... He's nice but naturally my "bull-shit-radar" is turned on and I'm looking for the missing piece. Why would he care about me singing on the streets. I didn't even give him one of my best performances as far as I'm concerned. But I enjoy talking to him, and try not to get too caught up in my thoughts. (abstraction is sometimes the enemy of true humaneness)

After a few minutes we start singing a bit together, just humming, for fun... I suddenly realize that I've heard this voice before. It's so clear and I think that ... well... this guy must be a real fan of some very known artist... it's like a ringing bell down memory lane ... like a distant childhood picture... strong but somewhat vague... who is this guy pretending to be? "Eric clapton... no it's not that voice... hmm"... I think to myself... "Harry Chapin, no not really"... and when I ask him who he sounds like he just smiles and gives me a hint. He says he sounds like this person because they're brothers... "Starts with a C and ends with..." ...don't remember what he said there... I was to confused by now to follow every sentence...

Then after quite a while he lets it out:
Cat Stevens!

"The legendary Cat Stevens?... yeah right" I think to myself...
the sceptic becomes even more sceptic.
"so you mean that you're the brother of 'heart' with this guy"... because I mean he couldn't be...!??

why would the brother och Cat Stevens be in Sweden and talking to me out on street. Obviously my years of meditation and reflection about the vanity of fame, and the insight that everyone is just human, is blown away for a moment... and I start to feel like a little child adoringly watching his father amazed. ;) But I still couldn't grip it. Superficial, my mind goes at the same time... I get stuck in this trance and find it difficult to speak out clearly.

I used to watch concerts with Cat Stevens recorded on VHS in high school, about the same time that I realized the musical treasure of The Beatles. This is my musical youth... a time when music was a magical portal to another time, and another world, in a more naive way than it is for me now... (or hmmm.. perhaps I have to re-evaluate that!) I've never sung many of Cat Stevens songs myself. (probably because they were a bit too innovative in rythm and vocal tecnique for me at that time)

But why would he lie? Why would he stand there, even with two of his daughters as witnessess, telling me about his musical connections with Sony and his plans to start a music scene close by? His ongoing tribute project with Cat Steven songs. Why would he give me busking-money, his phone-nr and his internet-name... if he wasn't for real? And his real name for that matter. David Gordon.

Maybe sometimes you'd be wise to expect the unexpected. I realize that I am the kind of person that wouldn't believe in god even if he/she/it was standing right in front of you. When I was younger I believed in many things, I was easy to fool because of my good will and good perception of anyone. Nowadays no one is fooling me... except... yes... that's right... MYSELF. ;)

David Gordon and I exchanged information and off he went. I sang just two more songs... then I returned home to Jesper and Erika. When I came home I took shelter in the wikipedia and read about Cat Stevens... and everything was there... he has a Swedish mother, and a brother named David Gordon. It was true. Strange. All this time I spent in a state of mild shock. I try to be prepared for different things... but this was not something I had thought through.

I'm thankful for this meeting last night.

I have a set journey right now, a dream that I have to fullfill. I value this contact and I might come to use it later on. For me this meeting was of much greater significance than if some guy from Idol och some record-company boss would have seen me and given me a compliment. This person, David Gordon, has been working for peace most of his life, he's connected to the deeper source of what music means (to me). I've never had any interest in becoming rich or famous per se, but I've always had a genuine belief in the spiritual and transformative function of music. Singing is soulful. To be able to live in that soulful state, is nothing less than creating heaven inside of ourselves... YES, heaven on earth as someone might say.

That is why I will keep this meeting close to my heart like a seed... and when I'm done with this project, meeting people, writing music, walking around from village to village, I will know what to do next. Because I am an integral child. Just like you I was meant to be a part of the healing of this fragmented age. I no that we must overcome differences that arise in our minds, cultural stagnation that keeps us from truly creating what is possible. My trip is a rite of passage, it's about learning my instrument... not just my voice and guitar... but my whole being... it's a practical meditation. I know my way.

- And David ...if you happen to read this:

You sure made my day! I keep the future open for collaborating. If it'll be so, the opportunity will announce itself in the right moment. ;) In any case it's inspiration having met you. That's how vain I am, despite all the philosophy I've read. Still mesmerized by the emotional flash of idolisation. ;)

/

Loco

Each day another road

2009-09-24T03:32:00.000-07:00

I see alot of this. I won't bother you readers publishing open roads... but while walking it has a special meaning to me. The symbolism of a road disappearing in the distance fascinates me. It's really a metaphor for change, adventure, leaving, wandering... I dig it! :)

From a bridge in Vålberg

2009-09-24T03:31:00.000-07:00

Just scenery...

This is how it looks - Me and my box

2009-09-24T03:25:00.000-07:00

Living in a box, thinking out of the box. Don't remember the location of this pic.

There's a special feeling when you walk with your home. :) Like a snail...

The mind of the snail will prevail.

A Thinker engaged in global, historical issues... and the details of such..

2009-09-24T03:09:00.000-07:00

This guy is a walking encyclopedia. He provided me with facts from A to Z for about an hour. Bright intense mind originally from Kiruna.

Cool Guys :)

2009-09-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

A local teenage rap group and friends joining me in Trollhattan in a remarkable cultural moment. Combining their rap and my ballad singing. ;)

Shiny Happy Fun Young People!

2009-09-24T03:00:00.000-07:00

Monie to the left is a hairdresser to be, and sang some songs with me that night. Her friend to the right filmed the whole thing. ;) They all provided a very cozy atmosphere in the middle of the pedestrian street.

2009-09-24T02:56:00.000-07:00

Encouraging man who really likes Coldplays, Viva la vida... so I sang it twice... despite my principle of never singing the same song twice in the same spot. (but I broke my rule again later... singing Hallelujah with the girls on the next picture)

After the rain has fallen

2009-09-24T02:49:00.000-07:00

Trollhättan... sun and rain... just before a magical music night.

2009-09-24T02:45:00.000-07:00

Scenery from the bus. I thought it looked like a fairytale. Its somewhere around Vänersborg. Melancolic but strong...hmm can't explain any more.

2009-09-24T02:40:00.000-07:00

Very friendly man from Åmål. He's an artist former boxer from Finland, named Marti Ohvo. Met him at the bus station in Säffle, and then again in Åmål. A spiritual seeker and intense personality.

2009-09-24T02:33:00.000-07:00

Tore is a healer that I met while singing. He came out of the store with his swedish snuff at closing time, after first getting the wrong snuff and having to reason with the security guards to get back in and switch it. He was called Tor in spiritual circles connecting to the mythological aspect of the northern Thunder God Tor. Very openhearted man with visions of getting back to the basics... one with nature, the vision of the simple life of herb medicine and homemade whine. That's not exactly how he put it, but that's how I pictured it.

2009-09-24T02:29:00.000-07:00

Adorable Elina, daughter of a family in Åmål who invited med for salmon dinner. She liked my music and even painted a ghost story for me as a gift.

2009-09-24T02:26:00.000-07:00

We got something in common, yeah? Proud bull. Met him just before I got into Åmål. He seemed to have a great time not knowing that he will become meat for the industry. Isn't he a bit like you and me... ;) But it's still a beautiful creature.

2009-09-24T02:22:00.000-07:00

Electricity on the go. Nice solar cell /battery... great for computers, cameras, phones and mp3 players. One form of Freedom.

Friendly Fans of Säffle

2009-09-24T02:17:00.000-07:00

My two new best friends of Säffle posing. (Julia and Elin if I remember the names correctly) They were very kind and sociable. The kind of friends know what the other one thinks. They had a little quarrel but I think the made up eventually. ;)

2009-09-24T02:10:00.000-07:00

Dead bird by the roadside. And that's what happened that day! ;)

...no but actually... it's easier to take a pic of something that's not alive. Great things usually pass by to fast to get the camera out. So I take the advantage I've got over the dead and publish it here. Not a sparrow would fall... but can anyone define what bird species it is?

First Fans

2009-09-24T02:05:00.000-07:00

First official fans of the journey, splendid young people from Grums. They led me in the right direction when I'd finished my singing for the day. I only wish I could remember the names... please tag yourself if you read this. :)

Thanks for your company.

2009-09-24T02:02:00.000-07:00

Tried to convince them that they were my groupies but that didn't agree and go along like sheep should.

2009-09-24T01:59:00.000-07:00

Municipal workers in Grums. Felt a certain affinity there... that is a good job I thought... painting and talking out on a like.. with seemingly no time constrain

2009-09-24T01:53:00.000-07:00

House of Glory! My own private toilette chared only with a friendly spider down the bin.

Highway Pearls

2009-09-24T01:36:00.000-07:00

Small things that catch your eye while walking by monotonous roads in horrible traffic. (luckily I can listen to the likes of Wayne Dyer, Daniel Goleman and Ken Wilber in my headphones)

2009-09-24T01:33:00.000-07:00

My little secluded Väner-campsite of the first night. Cold and wet. But peaceful to say the least.

My walking Carriage!

2009-09-24T01:17:00.000-07:00

This is my new Home... Beautiful isn't it? I took the picture in the exotic area just outside of Ikea in Karlstad. I had to get one last taste of their perfect crisps. I I wasn't behind the camera I would have been sitting on the box gazing out on the cows and Vänern.

more to come...

2009-09-22T08:25:00.001-07:00

pictures will come soon...

:)

and more about the other days...

First week out

2009-09-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

Lets summarize. The past few days, the first step of my never ending story.
I've had some time to think about why I do what I do. When I first decided to start busking again I visioned myself doing it with a little caravan for my bicycle.
The creation of that trailer(caravan) was like a meditation for this trip. At first my ex-girlfriend Ida wanted to come along, now I'm glad I did it alone. I think it's easier to get out of your comfort zone and meet new people if you're alone.

So walking it is.

Why? The purpose is not essentially political, but it definitely has social implications.
Walking is symbolic of easy living. For me it's about giving in to the urge of living passionately.
(at the same time encouraging myself to dig deeper in the mystery of joy and what makes life great) I think it's truly absurd that we live in a time of material luxury, and still organise society using a primitive form of economy that doesn't focus on our basic needs first. We need to reform our consumption-employment stress spiral, to a more scientific/meditative way beyond Communism/Capitalism. I would like to point to the writings of philosopher Ken Wilber for a comprehensive understanding of the integral nature of psychological/political development. That is all I have to say about politics. From now on my words will reflect mostly the experiental reality I live in. And for me this blog is just for fun and inspiration. I want to investigate the meaning of positive psychology in practise.

The concept Symbol? "Heart of Yes" is originally a tattoo I made about ten years ago. I wanted to find a symbol that would condense down my life-philosophy. The word "Yes" is inspired from a scene in the Imagine documentary, about how John lennon and Yoko Ono met at one of her exhibitions. One of her installations consisted of a ladder with a little "yes" inscribed in the roof. John found this wonderful. I also enjoy this simple form of art a lot. It's almost childish and yet very thoughtful. Minimalistic and focusing attention on conciousness and love itself. The heart is the universal symbol of love, it's as easy as that. The red coulor is life at the core and bloody passion. The black contourline for me later came to symbolize a mature psychological boundary. That is a definition of emotional health health. To be rocksteady in the midst of changing circumstances. Saying Yes to life in the way you determine to be best.

Have you seen the movie "Yes-man"? I fully embrace that association for my project. The movie is about breaking your everyday robotic trance-state, to make choices for life. Of course it wouldn't be healthy to try to say yes to everything, wich becomes clear in the movie. Jim Carrey is brilliant in the transformation from a boring, self-defeating, depressed guy, into open-minded, courageous man with options. So I don't believe that Yes is the only answer to any temptation or demand. Deciding for yourself is important. But a believe in affirmative thinking. That is the same as saying Yes to the exact dream that you want. And even saying yes to the unknown until you find what you really want. And the bottom line is that if you are a thinking kind of personality, (like I am for instance) then you have to get out and do something practical. Break you own bad spells, so to speak.

Only experience generates confidence and competence. Saying Yes to your dream, means saying No to everything else that stops you from reaching that goal. The single most common reason for not living your dream is, in my opinion: insecurity, the act of giving in to that inner voice telling you that it's not possible. I think enthusiasm comes from trying something new. The cure of all depression is braking the habit. And the only way of changing is to reinvest your confidence-level, into something a little bit more challenging. Walking the way step by step, sometimes tiny almost insignificant steps. But with focused conviction. I'm not saying that I'm not afraid. I have a long way to go. But I enjoy knowing that I'm building my own destiny. This is real school to me. Exploring myself. I know enough theory to support myself. This is real life.

16 sept - Karlstad - start of the trip

No apartment, no job, no bills...

Still a bit sick I started walking. Wasn't really ideal, and I sure felt a bit self-concious.(like riding on a donkey out of town) I didn't sing but I had to start walking. After just a few meters I got this rush from the three months of preparation and dreaming that this concluded. (not that it has to take that much time to get ready, but I had a job too. Anyone can leave today if they want to.) The mixed emotion of anxiety and wanderlust took over. I didn't feel sick at all. I was curious about my carriage and all practical details, like a kid with his new bike. I was very tired and happy to find a little stop by Vänern just a few km from Skutbergets camping-area. Sleeping in the wild differs from sleeping inside. :) The first night was the coldest this far. (I write this the 22nd) It was a bit wet, windy and under 10 celsius. My sleeping bag was warm as expected, but bathing this time of year is almost too refreshing.. I suppose I scared my cold away.

17 sept - Walking to Vålberg.

Theres no good walking route this way so I had to get back to the big road. But I've started to enjoy walking on the country roads. A little bit too much sun, but I've got sunglasses and my headphones to listen to books or music, drowning out the traffic. This day was quite hard. I felt somewhat confused, but I know it's the natural state to be in when everything is new. I had some water from an old lady who guided me to an abandoned house by the road where I could put up my tent.

18 sept - Grums

Since my "lock-holder" fell off of my walkingbox I had to find a new one. When I came to Grums I bought one thats better and actually looks more robust. I think the workers of the carpentry-store where dazzled by the look of my creation. The box draws attention thats for sure. Sometimes people seem afraid like I'm some different monster they can't place, or a commercal radio channel or saomething... and they can walk in big circles just to avoid having to speak to a "crazy person". Others, or the most I should say, are wondering and seem to search there minds for some way to understand. Grums was my first official busking day on the journey. It was a fantastic feeling to start playing and to get so much appreciation. Music tears down the wall between me and anyone. People are generous with donations and suggest that I should be in the swedish edition of Idol. "I don't think so" is my reply. But I admit to being flattered. My first few fans of the trip walked with me down the road and gave me some directions for the night.

19 sept - To Säffle

I felt almost high after singing in Grums last night. The afterglow of singing in public is a fantastic energy. I just feel like dancing down the road singing. It's such a simple way of physically changing the mood. Maybe I was in too good of a mood, cause I was walking a lot this day. 25 km at least with my package and for me that was perhaps a little too much. I sang and had a good time and met two nice, funny young girls. They helped me get away in the right direction when I was done... and the were a very loyal audience while I sang.

20 sept - Åmål

The walk was too long, and I realized that I would have to take a rest or transport myself in another way to avoid problems later on. But I walked on for the day. When I came to Åmål I washed my clothes and took a bath and then I was invited by a friendly family of tree to eat salmon and and potatoesallad. It was a superb meal after all this walking. We talked about travelling shared some stories, then I played a little organ an sang for a while before going to town. It was now raining but it still became the best singing experience so far. I met a few interesting people that night. One old musician with contacts in Italy who might be able to help me in getting gigs as a bar pianist. That is the my most practical goal for me on this trip. Playing music the way down in a way is like warming up for the coming tourist season next year. I also met a man who just came from a seance and said he was a healer. I did'nt ask him to heal my knee, but insisted that he'd let me take his picture... and we spoke a little about the Jungian concept of synchronicity. Later I met a guy from the night before who offered me sleepingplace at his home. He's an artist known from designing the castle in the movie about "Ronja Rövardotter". He's also a former boxer and an old friend and fan of Ulf Lundell. He was also in to Castaneda and talking spirituality. It was an interesting night. (and I'm not yet even that far from my homegrounds)

21 sept - Trollhättan

I sang little bit more in Åmål before taking a bus paying with some of my busking cash to get to Trollhättan. My knee still hurt and I down want to gamble my possibility of walking in the small villages in southern Europe. Trollhättan was a blast. After some rain came a little sun. I sang and met a few girls who wanted to sing along... and soon it was a little crowd. I even had the opportunity of playing together with local rapgroup who happened to turn up on the street. After talking to some interesting guys, it got late and the rain came again. I found a place in a secluded park area under a big tree. I had a great nights sleep. The wind-shelter withstands water very well.

22 sept - Trollhättan to Göteborg

I spent most of the day talking to teens I'd met the day before, at "Folkets hus" in Trollhättan. Some people come by as usual asking what I'm about. And people put it differently. Some just smile, some ask what the heart-sign means... others like an old man said "what the hell is that!". I told him it's a symbol of positivity and that the box is my life right now. Most of the day I spent writing and remembering the first days in the form of this diary. Then I took a bus to Göteborg (Gothenburg) to visit my old friends, Jesper and Erika, from a community I used to live in.

23 sept - Göteborg

I am now preparing the last steps before leaving with the ferry to Denmark. I took some time singing in a shopping area close to Liseberg, but it was very windy and noisy from traffic, so I got a few things I needed for my box, and then bought some food and went back home. It's good to be with friends and to sleep in a bed for afew nights. But I look forward to warmer weather. That's it for now.

Today I start walking

2009-09-16T01:59:00.000-07:00

After about two weeks of being sick I am now about to leave Karlstad. I finished the carriage last night and haven't slept that much. Right now I'd love to relax in my sleeping bag reading a little Paulo Coelho and taking a rest in the sun.

The last few days I've spent at a friend of mine recording one of his songs. (interesting experience since I've been sick) I collected som seeds from his garden that I now plan to plant along the way each 10 km or so. About 250 seeds. Seems like a good idea. In a few years they will become sweet fruits called "krikon" in swedish.

I sang outside of the university yesterday, but today I'm not sure I've got the energy to sing. Probably I will be walking and focusing on becoming clear about this trip and what it's about. It's been delayed much to long now. Time to walk.

Not quite yet, but soon enough...

2009-09-07T14:59:00.000-07:00

The last week I've been preparing my songs for the trip, scanning old songs to my computer... a somewhat exhausting job. At the same time I've had a cold so that might add to the misery. ;)

I'm looking forward to get going. There are a few practical things to fix first. Getting my computer aligned with me in terms of recording music. Getting some sort of windscreen/tent. And getting better wheels for my carriage. It's almost a month later than I expected to be going, and so it's starting to get a bit chilly at times. However, I'm not much concerned with that. I have a good sleeping bag. The only thing is that I might long for the sun too much. So perhaps I will take the bus some parts of the journey to get away from the worst wind and rain of northern Europe.

Even if I haven't left home yet, I've sort of started the trip psychologically speaking. last Wednesday I sang on the streets of my hometown for the first time ever. It was great. I didn't earn more than a modest 100 swedish kronor, but I had a lot of fun and felt truly free.

This trip is actually not much about the physical movement, I'm not trying to prove that I can walk a long way. What I want to do is to travel gracefully. That means getting the most out of it, watching nature and atmospheric change. But also, and foremost, playing music and meeting people. The "walking" part of the equation is just about feeling free and getting into a good healthy energy.

Thats enough for now.

Take care!

Moving out

2009-08-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

Now it's just two days left until I will move all the stuff out of the apartment. Then I'm technically on the road. Evenings are getting cooler, so it is good weather for hiking. Things start to fall into place.

My travel box is almost finished and decorated. Sleeping bag, sleeping mat, goretex shoes etc. Today I bought a good mosquito net and a simple digital camera to document my travelling. Soon the first pictures can be expected. Due to a gig next week, I will not wander from town until at least September the fifth. Then you can come in and read sometimes if you're curious.

The Heart of Yes bolts to leave for a new home in the sun, to sing in the echoing tunnels and rest under the sky each night. Please feel free to come and visit me on the road if you like to. Being social is what it's all about. I appreciate all the gifts I can get in my hat when playing. Both money, fruits, useful information, a lawn to camp on and a hot shower is gracefully accepted. ;)

On the roads

2009-08-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Time is floating in and I will be on the next wave.
In a few weeks my world will turn around; or more accurately I will be turning round to see the world. There are different ways of seeing the world. One way of seeing it is thru the stillness of one special place. Another way is to see it while in motion. Essentially I believe they're both the same adventure, just a question of perspective.

At this time my focus is the external world, the world of events and social dynamics so addictive to mankind. It may be a few years of playing music on streets and meeting new people. But I will settle down and put in to practice whatever knowledge this will bring for me. It's a personal voyage, not really political, but with social implications; naturally raising questions of life and how to live it fullfilled. It's a work of art to me and it will sum up to a great piece of life. I certainly belive that life is a beautiful story to be created. This is my present narrative: The Heart of Yes.

I'm leaving in the beginning of september.
Meet me on the way!!